Daily Frameworks for 29 February 2024

Istijlál, 04 Ayyám-i-Há (The Days of Há), 180 B.E

Arising to Serve

Quote for Reflection:

Independent of the level of their education, parents are in a critical position to shape the spiritual development of their children. They should not ever underestimate their capacity to mold their children’s moral character. For they exercise indispensable influence through the home environment they consciously create by their love of God, their striving to adhere to His laws, their spirit of service to His Cause, their lack of fanaticism, and their freedom from the corrosive effects of backbiting. — Universal House of Justice ¹

Question for Consideration:

If we backbite in front of children, what effect will it have on them? ²

Google Gemini Response:

Based on the passage from the Universal House of Justice, backbiting in front of children can have several adverse effects on their development:

• Modeling negative behavior: Children learn by observing and imitating the adults around them. If they witness their parents or other adults engaging in backbiting, they are more likely to see it as an acceptable behavior and incorporate it into their interactions with others.
• Eroding trust: Witnessing backbiting can damage a child’s confidence and trust in adults and their ability to maintain healthy relationships. It creates a sense of insecurity and fears that others might also talk negatively about them.
• Promoting negativity and division: Backbiting focuses on negativity and highlighting flaws in others. This can create a hostile and divisive environment in the home, potentially impacting the child’s overall social and emotional development.
• Hindered moral development: The Bahá’í teachings emphasize the importance of love, respect, and unity. Backbiting contradicts these principles and hinders the child’s ability to develop a strong moral compass.
• Potentially damaging self-esteem: Depending on the target of the backbiting, the child might feel a sense of insecurity or even shame if it’s someone close to them. It can also lead to self-doubt and questioning their judgment and relationships.
  

Additional considerations

• The younger the child, the more vulnerable they are to the harmful effects of backbiting.
• The frequency and intensity of the backbiting will also impact the severity of the consequences.
  

Alternatives to backbiting

• Open and honest communication: If you have concerns about someone, address them directly with them in a respectful and constructive manner.
• Focus on positive behavior: Instead of discussing others’ shortcomings, focus on fostering positive qualities and behaviors in your children.
• Set a good example: Be mindful of your words and actions, demonstrating the behavior you want your children to emulate.
  

By creating a loving and supportive environment where open communication and respect are valued, parents can help their children develop strong moral characters and build healthy relationships based on trust and understanding.

Microsoft Copilot Response:

When we backbite in front of children, it can have significant and lasting effects on their emotional well-being and character development. Let’s explore some of these effects:

Poorer Mental Health

• Victims of backbiting and relational aggression experience higher rates of depression and anxiety.
• Witnessing backbiting can create a hostile emotional environment for children, affecting their mental health.
  

Loneliness

• Social exclusion resulting from backstabbing or gossip can lead to feelings of loneliness.
• These feelings may persist even after the aggression has stopped, impacting a child’s social interactions and friendships.
  

Lower Self-Esteem

• Children who witness backbiting may internalize negative beliefs about themselves.
• They may perceive themselves as less attractive, poorly behaved, or less appealing romantically compared to their peers.
  

Self-abuse and Risky Behaviors

• Lowered self-esteem due to relational aggression can lead to self-abusive behaviors.
• Children may engage in risky actions to cope with their emotions, seeking relief from the pain caused by backbiting.
  

Normalization of Hurtful Behavior

• Children observing backbiting may perceive it as a regular part of communication.
• If not addressed, they might adopt similar behavior, perpetuating the cycle of gossip and betrayal.
  

As parents, it is crucial to model positive behavior, avoid backbiting, and create a loving and respectful home environment. Doing so contributes to our children’s emotional well-being and helps shape their moral character. Remember that our actions speak louder than words, especially when nurturing the next generation. 🌟

Source: Conversation with Bing, 2/28/2024

• Tween Backstabbing and Mean Girl Syndrome | Verywell Family
• A Personal Reflection on the Harmful Effects of Backbiting | BahaiBlog
• The Top 5 Misconceptions of Backbiting and How To Respond To Them | MuslimMatters
• The Psychology Behind Backbiting | PsychoLogs
• What is Backbiting and Why Should We Avoid It? | Dawat-e-Islami
• Why arguing in front of the kids isn’t good for them – or you | The Guardian

1. Universal House of Justice. “To Set the World in Order: Building and Preserving Strong Marriages.” Bahá’í Reference Library, August 2023. https://www.bahai.org/library/authoritative-texts/compilations/set-world-order/3#890057012.
   
2. Ruhi Institute. Arising to Serve. 2.1.1.PE September 2020. Vol. Book 2. 6 vols. Embarking on a Path of Service. Cali, Columbia: Ruhi Foundation, 2020, 55. https://www.ruhi.org/en/walking-a-path-of-service/#AS. ↩